I drop in on a child care providers discussion forum from time to time and make comments/suggestions if I feel I can be of help (or just want to join in on a rant!!). Recently, one of the providers had a terrible ongoing problem with a child who was wilfully destroying her property i.e. toys, day care equipment and furniture. The parents laugh it off, ask the child to say an empty 'I'm sorry' and offer no discussion nor action for remedy. As you can imagine this poor lady is at her wits end. To date the child has deliberately destroyed over $200 worth of items. All too often day care providers can be faced with very delicate situations when handling difficult behavior in a child.

Sometimes challenging behaviors can be an unavoidable aspect of running a day care. A firm and consistent approach is vital in dealing with same regardless what the reasons for the behavior. 'Meet the parents' is a must when it is clear that a child is consistently destructive, aggressive and disruptive. Parent and provider working together is key to dealing with challenging behavior successfully.

Discovering root causes and triggers for the behavior through discussion can help all involved better understand the child and his actions both at home and at day care. A mutual behavior plan should be agreed whereby all parties are cooperating and on the same page. It is vital that consistent and constructive handling of the child be carried out by both parents and provider.

Individual plans can be formulated using your behavior policy as an outline (please tell me you have a behavior policy!). Include time frames and deadlines for implementation and re-evaluation. This might also be a good time to revise your parent contract to include when parents will be expected to reimburse you for excessive damage caused by their child.

Insert also your 'end of tether' clause where you would be forced to ask a client to withdraw their child due to ongoing issues and lack of cooperation/communication. Requesting professional help may sometimes be necessary and does not indicate failure on the part of either party- sometimes it is the only, constructive way forward.